Shove over, Frankenstein. Today I have been doing some crazy chemistry of my own. I have fused the Victoria sponge with Black Forest Gateau, or Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte, as Dr Frankenstein would doubtless have preferred it (I imagine he also enjoyed a Victor-ia sponge. My God, I am HILARIOUS). It is made of chocolate sponge, black cherry jam, vanilla buttercream, glacé cherries and grated chocolate (I didn't have any chocolate vermicelli so I improvised with a grater and a miniature bar of dark Green & Blacks I got free with Marie Claire. I am nothing if not resourceful. It is a mystery how I did not earn more badges at Brownies).
Next, I will attempt to create the Flappenberg, a daring hybrid of flapjack and Battenberg.