Sunday, 24 April 2011

Happy Easter and that

It's Easter and, just like Jesus, I have been resurrected this weekend. In blogging terms, of course, not, like, as the saviour of mankind. Although I never say never.

Two and a half weeks may be my longest period of non-blogging since Miss Jones blogging records began. That includes holidays. And I haven't even been on holiday this time. Although, as anyone who lives there will tell you, every day in south-east London is like a holiday. I have no good excuses for not posting, apart from mild busy-ness and a fear of repetition. This never stopped Barbara Cartland from a prodigious work rate though, so really, buck up, Miss Jones.

Let's focus on some positives. This year, I have three Easter eggs to eat, and I didn't even have to buy any of them for myself.

This is not one of them:


It's not strictly an egg, of course. It's a Baby Basil Hollow White Chocolate Duck. Is Basil the name of the duck or an adventurous addition to the flavouring? I don't know, the modern world baffles me.

Anyway, BBHWCD – as all his crazy pals in the confectionery packing depot probably nickname him – had been jilted by the tills at London Bridge Marks & Spencer, with an affliction so severe you could see straight into his pretty, empty little head. Who knows what cruel conspiracy of fate was responsible?

Perhaps he simply had a congenital physical imperfection, and that's what led to his last-minute spurning – we've all been there. Perhaps he was an innocent bystander caught up in a skirmish over the last packet of Cranberry & Orange Hot Cross Buns. Or perhaps someone in the queue loved him a bit too much, squeezed him a little too hard, until a hot clammy digit found its way right through his skull. Again, we've all been there.

We may never know.

This is a sombre note to end on, but I feel Easter should be a time of reflection. Reflection and consumption. I could never bring myself to eat BBHWCD, though. White chocolate is disgusting.

5 comments:

jaljen said...

Hm, hole in the heart is a fairly common condition, so I've heard. Hole in the head evidently rarer. Or perhaps sufferers don't get out so much?

I'd heard that M&S weren't doing so well and I'm not surprised. Some of the big-wigs in food technology and marketing need their bumps feeling if they consider white, basil-flavoured chocolate to be a potential winner in the big-seller stakes.

Alison Cross said...

I don't like white chocolate, but I *do* do that rescue thing for little toys that are lost and alone. I was forever bringing home one-eared/eye/legged teddies because I couldn' t bear the thought of someone throwing them out.

Soft toys need looooooooove.

*sad bastard face*

melt Basil down and dip strawberries in him?

David said...

white chocolate is NOT disgusting. although I am told its made from normal chocolate run off. anywho, were are all pleased you are blogging again.

legend in his own lunchtime said...

You could always use him for a cotton ball dispenser.

Anonymous said...

Happy easter

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