And hurts like this: F!@%^&**J%)$^7
Despite its appearance, I didn't get it caught in a cartoon mousetrap. I had a little operation to remove some sub-ungual badness. Yep. I've got me some pretty flash-talkin' terminology.
Although medical science refutes my theory, I would advise anyone against having nail extensions, even if they are free as part of a body makeover feature five years ago for the failing women's magazine which once employed you.
In the long dark hours while I wait for my allegedly high-strength painkillers to deign to be in any tiny way effective, I am amusing myself by performing silhouetted impressions of E.T. against my white walls, and ordering and reordering my preference of day-surgery-ward complimentary biscuits. It mostly goes like this:
3 Custard creams
4 Fruit shortcake
but sometimes I swap round the digestives and the custard creams.