…or at least around the corner. The school where five pupils have been diagnosed with swine flu is just 200 yards or so from my house. I walk past it every day on my way to the train station. Since Sunday we have witnessed quite the kerfuffle – big white vans, news crews and real-life paparazzi.
Unfortunately, I cannot discuss these events further because the frenzied media response over the last couple of weeks has led to the international supply of pig puns running critically low. Following directives from the World 'Heh' Organisation, I am taking the responsible course of action and not depleting numbers any lower, but instead stockpiling any hog-related play-on-words I can manufacture, in case of a more severe second strain later in the year.