Saturday, 27 November 2010



I'm sorry that you have to see this. I'm about to share with you a particularly unattractive moment of procrastination in an attempt to shame myself into reforming my behaviour.

While attempting to rewrite the post below for Tall Tales – I wasn't even attempting to write something from scratch, not even a blank page to excuse my ickyness – I noticed these two holes at the front of my laptop.

Teeny-tiny holes just made for squinting into, if you are hell-bent on avoiding the task that is set out in front of you, and have seen all there is to see out of the window next to you, and you have deliberately removed yourself from the room with the telly in it. And then I noticed what was inside those two little holes. Fluff and crumbs and all manner of bits. They had become two electronic belly-buttons.

So did I turn my computer upside down and shake them out? No, that wouldn't have wasted half enough time. Instead I spent a good half-hour playing Operation with a pair of pointy, pointy tweezers…

Some of the extractions were quite tricky, and there is further surgery to be done, but this is what I excavated:

Sorry. Disgusting. Yes.

(It could have been worse. Over the last couple of years, I've protected you from the stage-by-stage photos of my finger recovering from surgery, as a new nail grew from tiny stubby chrysalis to ongular butterfly. Predictably I never did get round to making a flickerbook of those photos as I planned.)

I couldn't believe that pile of eww had come out of those two tiny holes. But that was only the start of it. Look what else I found in there:

Oh, and these:

I'm wondering what else I've dropped down there over the years. Maybe this is where I might at long last find my missing ability to get the f*** on with things.


legend in his own lunchtime said...

The modern version of belly button mining. Its far more fun than actual work.

Ragged Thread Cartographer said...

Mice, I reckon. Definitely teeny mice. They love anything pink, orange, yellow and red best. Still laughing. Wish I'd heard them on the kazoo.

Christina @ Fashion's Most Wanted said...

Very funny! I have the same laptop. I've had mine nearly eight years. It's had a new screen, new keyboard, new motherboard, new hard drive - the only bit that's original is the casing and that's falling to bits. The things that have come out of it is quite shocking after all that time! Hope you're well xx

Alison Cross said...

LMAO! I sometimes turn my keyboard upside down and give it a good shake. There's enough fluff and crumbs dislodge to feed the starving millions.

Looooove it!!

Ali x

Shrimptowers said...

In times of a sudden famine, you'll be grateful for all the food that falls from your laptop. Your neighbours might not be so keen on the kazoo though.