The wages of sin

I can't be the only person who believes that advertising agencies are somehow infiltrating my brain using lasars and black magic, finding out what my favourite songs are, and then consummately ruining them by changing the lyrics in a clumsy, ham-fisted fashion and thinking that will seduce me into buying their products. 

IT WILL NEVER WORK. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

The latest example: Charlotte Church advertising Virgin Holidays (like she needs the money! but wait, that is a different post) with a rubbish, reworded version of I Want It Now! from Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory. It is in my Top 10 songs from musicals, and don't think that's not a real list that exists in my head. Here, with a few minutes' preamble, is the original.

The whole concept of pillaging the classics reminds me of revising for exams at school and listening to a local radio station which had a really good indie show on weeknights. But, following the model of commercial radio, it worked on a ratio of about two songs by Kingmaker/The Wonder Stuff /James/other to four minutes of extremely low-rent adverts for local businesses. Perhaps the worst was for a company called Posh Windows And Conservatories, which bastardised Every Day by Buddy Holly, a simple, beautiful, totally perfect song. Whichever 'creative' realised that the name of the company would more or less, just about scan in the same way as 'Love like yours will surely come my way' probably got a pay rise but verily, they are the wages of sin. Even now I feel a shudder of violation whenever I find myself humming 'Every day, prices getting lower', which I do with surprising and hateful frequency. They probably think this means They have won. Comrades, They never will.