Kick off your dad's old shoes

While I was on holiday, I didn't pine for Strictly too much as we found a new reality/celebrity collision quietly expiring on Canadian daytime TV – and why would you want to be strolling the beautiful, bracing beaches of Prince Edward Island when you could be holed up in a holiday chalet watching the son of Dee Snider from Twisted Sister performing a glam-thrash version of Ring Of Fire?

But I am getting ahead of myself. I refer to Rock The Cradle, a televisual concept born of MTV, in which the offspring of various rock and pop legends, it says here, compete in the singing arena, following intense coaching from their famous parents, Belinda Carlisle and some people you've never heard of.

We were initially quite excited by Crosby Loggins…

…until, that is, we saw him perform. Perhaps you can guess the identity of his famous father. Suffice to say that Crosby's anaemic version of the Foo Fighters' Long Road To Ruin had none of the spunk that made Kevin Bacon want to run amok and throw some freaky shapes in a deserted warehouse.

Alas, it seems the unthinkable happened, and Rock The Cradle was not an unqualified success on its maiden outing, meaning it is unlikely to regenerate into a British version. An opportunity lost, clearly. Who would not welcome the spectacle of Stella McCartney belting out We All Stand Together?

Hey Paul, does Noel Edmonds know you've borrowed that sweater?