Sunday, 20 September 2009

International pudding news (part 306: Norway)

I have spent the weekend with Ms D/Mrs B. I should point out that she is one person, with one unified personality. It's just that I don't know which title she prefers, even though she's a close friend, and even though this is the kind of thing that is important to her. The reason I don't know this detail is not because of my deliquency as a friend*. It is because we have much more important things to discuss, such as the comestible delicacies of her maternal homeland.

Readers, say hallo (I will translate, as Norwegian is a rich and complex language: hello) to karamell pudding (caramel pudding).

I know what you're thinking - so far, so Safeway. But wait! This is no ordinary caramel pudding. In fact, I would argue that there is no such thing as an ordinary caramel pudding. Each one is a tiny testament to the miracles of cooking chemistry. But this karamell pudding? Well, open the carton and it slithers out like a yellow, perfectly cuboid fish.

In the future, all fish will be cuboid, for ease of storage. Evolution is working on the whole concept of perfect right angles as we speak. It's been a lengthy process but they want to get it absolutely right before the launch. They've almost cracked it, there's just some wrangling going on over the marketing budget. Anyway. Once you've delivered your pudding onto a plate, a vast building block of food sculpture is at your disposal, to divide and assemble as your imagination desires. The packaging suggests a train.

But I prefer a more architectural slant to my pudding sculpture, and since I frown on the excessive use of food colouring - it really is so vulgar - karamell pudding's natural, buttery colour suggests to me the MI6 building at Vauxhall, or perhaps one of the more ornate Oxford colleges. But it pains me to say that I will not be the person to render them. Witness my disastrous attempt at the Eiffel Tower.

I was carving with a spoon, but I know this is a feeble defence.

*It is slightly because of this.


Big Brother said...

In other pudding news, proof that home baking is in the family genes (jeans?). Young Miss Jones the Younger has emulated her Aunt's success at the Lambeth Horticultural Society by scooping the "Younger Siblings" prize at the cake decorating competition at Young Miss Jones the Elder's (or is it Older's - alas literacy has not extened to the male genes) school fete. I think her success could be attributed to clearly being the only entry that hadn't had "just a bit of help from mum".

Alas though, I fear her Aunt may not approve, as YMJtY's creation was a tastefully rendered underwater scene, achieved with a not insignificant quantity of blue food colouring.

YMJtE/O was cruelly denied victory in the year 5 category by a creation so stunning that "no way did she do that all by herself". But we'll be back next year - as the denizens of Lambeth know, we Jones do not take such setbacks lying down. And if Miss Jones and Mrs Jones senior could just keep Saturday 18th September 2010 free, and bring their aprons and icing bags with them, that would be great...

Miss Jones said...

Amazing! Pictures please ASAP.

Jane said...

Are you not going to share your initial attempt? Initial, geddit?

Ms D (not Mrs B, much to the would-be Elder Mrs B's consternation.)

Miss Jones said...

I thought that might be picture overload. It was a giant letter H. I'd like to say I was working on an effigy of the Hollywood sign, but it was purely self-referential.