'We stock Himalayan salt.'
'Try our new biodynamic buffalo mozzarella.'
(You obviously have to take my word that that's what the words in the green blob say. I've never lied to you before, not consciously anyway, and if I did – let's face it, I probably did – it was an honest mistake. Although it's true to say that I've exaggerated a bit, fairly deliberately. The fact is, there were two staff members sitting very close to this window and I didn't fancy an angry confrontation when they spotted me taking a picture of their window like some kind of deli pervert. I mean, I pretty much am a deli pervert, but I don't want to fight about it. I just want to be free to live my life.)
Anyway, I'm assuming each of these window slogans are some promise of greatness, although I couldn't tell you why.
In addition, the newest shop opening in my area – the area that Phil Spencer, in this very week's Location Location Location, called 'funky', which is one of my rock-bottom least favourite adjectives, THANKS PHIL) – would appear to sell nothing more than paint and clogs. Exquisitely tasteful, highly desirable and doubtless ethically made paint and clogs. But still, paint and clogs.
Paint. And clogs.
3 comments:
I have had editors who would not have been able to read this without desperately wanting to insert 'achingly hip' somewhere into the copy.*
* Note: not editors who actively hated me as a person and screamed with laughter at the thought of this being under my name with nothing I could do about it.
I always yelp when Phil and Kirsty appear on my telly while channel-hopping. The slightest glimpse of them produces a feeling very similar to something cold hitting a nerve in my back tooth (I am suffering from this annoying condition right now which is stressful when eating some delicious non-pudding dish I've just thrown together). Funky is EXACTLY the kind of word that Phil would use. The only entertaining thing about them is contemplating which you would deal with first at the dentist. I think it's Kirsty. No it's Phil. It's definitely Kirsty. Although...
No it IS Kirsty. She looks like Clyde from the Ant Hill Mob.
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