Tuesday, 11 November 2008

The hardest word

I am blogging from my bedroom, which I'm not allowed to leave until I've thought about what I've done. That is a metaphor. I'm actually in the sitting room. I'm watching Newsnight and I've just had a small bowl of Special K. But I digress.

My mum has told me off for swearing on my blog. She said I am 'doing a Gordon Ramsay'. I know this is not an appreciative reference to my culinary skillz. 

Someone who may or may not be Gary Kemp has told me off for being rude about Gary Kemp. 

To summarise, I have essentially been told by two different people (unless my mum has decided to begin masquerading as the former Spandau songwriter, which would involve quite a lifestyle change on her part) to stop showing off. At my own birthday party (another metaphor, English GCSE scholars), I have been told to go and lie down upstairs with a flannel on my forehead and just calm down.  

I am chastened. Furthermore, I have a cold. This is not a metaphor. But it is, perhaps, karma.

David Crystal, awesomely bearded linguist and writer of at least one of my university textbooks, is discussing apostrophes on Newsnight. He has a very progressive approach to punctuation. I think I love him.  


Anonymous said...

Hello Miss Jones, I would like to counter your negative feedback by saying I am reading a very good book by Margaret Atwood called Moral Disorder – it is fab you should definitely read it – la Atwood is my favourite writer and so it is no small thing when I say something of her wry self-deprecation reminded me of your writing or perhaps it is the other way round but anyway I just wanted to pass that on. And I thought your last few blogs have been awesome – I particularly liked the title of the remembrance day one.

Miss Rose

Anonymous said...

Oh I also meant to say, I also heart David Crystal though I have been somewhat waylaid from finishing the last book of his I was reading. Sorry David.


SheeBeeGB said...

I think one thing that we may have discovered about Gary Kemp is that he's got a lot of time on his hands and clearly spends a portion of every day Googling his own name to see what delights come up.
How else would he have found this blog otherwise?
(That, of course, is in no way a slight on you Miss Jones. We have all found you one way or another...)
Mr. Kemp, you were alright in Spandau Ballet. The one who really got on my tits was that blonde one who played the sax.

Miss Jones said...

Miss Rose, you were always my favourite friend. Sheebeegb, you are my favourite new friend.

Incidentally, should David Crystal ever tire of his illustrious career in linguistics, I believe he could make a lot of money seasonally as an in-store Father Christmas.

SheeBeeGB said...

Why thank you Miss Jones. I shall treasure that thought, continue to enjoy your charming and lively blog and put Gary Kemp at the top of my "People to Publicly Diss" list...
Pompous, indeed.

As I live 7,000 kilometers away in Havana, Cuba I doubt whether we shall be able to meet up for a nice cup of tea and slice of fruitcake in the foreseeable future, but if you ever find yourself in the Caribbean, do drop by for a rum'n'ting.