Each day is Valentine's day...

I pride myself on having, at any one time, a suit of unconventional crush objects. Who could possibly be interested in Brad Pitt or David Beckham when there's Adrian Chiles or John C Reilly around? Gary McAllister, Frasier's dad, Simon Day… I have, at one point, loved them all. So of course I am thrilled to be adding another to the ranks. But this time, my funny valentine isn't barred from the mainstream on the grounds of age, weight or just being kinda funny-lookin'. This one doesn't wash his hair. 

Never mind his aversion to the hair-care aisle – just look at him! He's adorable! A goofy sunbeam who's keeping the sweet-smelling flame alive for the slacker generation. You would, perhaps, not entrust him to operate any heavy machinery, but I heart Jason Castro, and seeing as American Idol seems to be on any combination of ITV channels literally all the time, we can hang out, like, whenever.

You may feel there is something naggingly familiar about Jason. I've realised that he is, in fact, the felt-made-flesh lovechild of Clifford:

and Janice:

 

Look, Gepetto, he's a real boy!